Friday, March 14, 2008

In Memory of Samuel

Look closely at my new ring...At the bottom of the heart is one beautiful diamond. At the top of the heart, on the right, is a mother with long hair holding up her tiny baby in her arms. The baby is on the left side of the heart. Can you see it?~

This is my early Mother's Day present from my wonderful husband, in memory our son,
Samuel Jacob Benedict

It's been a little over 7 weeks since our baby died. Some days are good (if I keep my mind and body busy), and other days are still sad and very hard for me. I have talked to our family doctor and a few people who have been very supportive of us through this whole ordeal. Everyone keeps telling me that "there is no time frame for for grieving." Some people take weeks, some months, and some years. The part that is still hard for me is that my tiny baby boy is still sitting in the morgue while they wait for the ground to thaw enough for the hospital to have their burial. I know he's there, cold, not being held and loved on. I know that he is with the Lord in spirit and soul, but I know he is there, and I want to hold him again. That is hard for me for some reason. I know that may not make sense to anyone else, but it is just me and how I feel. I still need to work on his memory book and put in his pictures, crib cards, cards from friends, birth announcements from the newspaper, etc., but I can't bring myself to do that yet. Maybe next week? We'll see.

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