Thursday, December 30, 2010

As Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor, put in to words exactly what I am feeling right now when she said, "I need a fresh start. I mean, I really need a fresh start. I have so much I want to do and share with my children and yet lack either the time or motivation or energy to do it all."  I have especially found this to be true since I found out what has been wrong with me and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  The lack of energy is one of my biggest struggles!  Many nights, I sleep "okay," and many other nights, usually for days in a row, I will sleep "miserably" at best.  When I sleep miserable, getting up by 7:30 is a true struggle for me.  It is something I have to force, and I mean literally force, myself to do. But to be a good example to my children, I make myself.  Oh I desire to wake up full of energy like I used to.  I used to be, and had always been, a morning person.  From the time I was a kid, and had to wake up my mom, brother and sister, I used to go in and start saying, "Rise & Shine!  Give God the Glory!"  Ask my older kids, they were less than thrilled to hear me come in in the morning saying this, much like my brother and sister were years back.  Now while I do still say that some mornings to my younger children who are still in the nest, I am not so cheerful and enthusiastic as I used to be.  When I first wake up, I am most always stiff and sore, and at first walking anywhere in the morning is painful, especially walking down the stairs to the main floor!!

So, what do I need more than a fresh start for this upcoming school semester in this new 2011 year?  I need fresh help!!!  And after reminding myself who this fresh help comes from, I am reminded that it comes from the Lord Jesus Himself.  

"I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me." Psalm 57:2

And another verse that says, "Be confident of this very thing: that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

I need the excitement and enthusiasm that I remember having had in the past.  This is our 18th year of home schooling.  18 years!  Home schooling in IA has only been legal for I believe 20 or 21 years now.  When we first felt led to home homeschool our children, it was new and very people heard of it, and even fewer dared to actually admit that they were doing it!  Back then, it was so new, and different.  Now, it is as common as flowers blooming in the spring.  I want and need that excitement again!  I want and need that enthusiasm and energy again!   Please Lord, I pray and ask YOU to give me that back again.  This comes from the bottom of my heart Lord, from the depths of my soul.  Please, Lord, perform all these things for me.

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