Thursday, January 22, 2015

Happy 7th Birthday My Son, Samuel

                          Dedicated to Our Son...Samuel Jacob Benedict
                                             Stillborn or Miscarriage?

     Today, my beautiful son, you would be 7 years old.  How can 7 years have gone past already, if I still feel like it was just yesterday that you were born?  Do you realize that you are only 8 days older than your nephew, Kaden?  And only 27 days older than your niece, Alona.  You were supposed to be born last, but were born first.  I miss you...still today and always.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  I held you in my arms, played with your tiny fingers and toes, and kissed your tiny little nose. Mommy knows that you are in Heaven with Jesus, and I am thrilled that one day I will see you again, but some days, I still feel that initial pain, the day they told me that your heart had suddenly stopped beating.  I prayed, I begged that they were wrong, but 28 hours of labor later, you were born.  I don't regret one single split second for the time  that I carried you inside of me.  It was almost like "you and me against the world."  I love you my son, Samuel Jacob Benedict, now and forever.  Happy Birthday my son!!  Mommy loves you more than you will ever possibly know!

     If you are a mom who has ever had a stillborn baby that you've held in your arms and clung to the hope that miraculously your baby would take a breath, or a mom who has had a miscarriage, after already so closely bonded that it was like your heart beat as one, and lost that are not alone.  I can feel your pain, and I empathize and sympathize with your feelings.  I have been there, and I would be so happy and blessed to take your pain away for you.  Truly I would.  That is a promise I would make you if I had even an ounce of hope of making it come true.  I hurts.  It hurts like heck!  You will never know how sorry I am for your loss, or that of my own for that matter.  But one thing I do believe, is that one day, in Heaven, I will see and hold my son again.  One day...I don't ever want to do ANYTHING that would ever stop that from happening.  I know that he is with Jesus.  He is happy, healthy, content, and that he knows who I am personally, and that Jesus will take wonderful care of him until the day I get there to see him.  He will do the same with you.  God will not let your child even be alone, sad, lonely, unhappy, hungry, or anything else bad.  Only good can come from God!  So your son, or daughter, is in a wonderfully remarkably beautiful place.  Have no doubt, not the slightest glimmer of doubt, that they are happy and waiting, just for YOU!

     If I can listen to your story, pray with you, share my story with you, support you, walk you through the rough times, or anything else you can think of...please contact me here, or feel free to email me.  I will ALWAYS be here to do whatever I can, if only just listen.  I will do the very best that I am able to do to help ease your hurt.  And please know, no matter how recent it has been, or how long it has been, I can feel the pain, and am ever so sorry for your loss.  A child should never die before their parent, in my opinion.  Please know that I will do my best to be here for you.

     God Bless you, your family, and your child/children,

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